What a Mother!

OK, listen up all you Global Warming people, because I have solved the riddle. It's not carbon emissions from cars, it's not methane from cows, and it has nothing to do with the rain forest.

Mother Nature is going through The Change.

How else can you explain snow in December in Texas while Canadians wish each other Muddy Christmas? You know how it's thirty five degrees one day and eighty the next? Hot flashes. Those Category 5 hurricanes? Mood swings. I'm telling you, She is on the warpath. We have a saying here: If you don't like the weather, wait a day. Usually I'm in favor of this, because it keeps me from being bored. One of my favorite weather phenomenons is the Blue Norther, where the temperature can drop forty degrees in two hours. But I have to draw the line at turning on the heat in APRIL. This is ridiculous. My poor daffodils got slapped down by that fickle bitch who, apparently amused by our Spring Fever, saw fit to send 40 MPH winds and cold nights. To paraphrase one of my favorite bloggers (and incidentally favorite people), Mother Nature is a slutty tease!

I fully agree. She gets everyone all hot-n-bothered, then sends snow/rain/wind for a global cold shower. She lures you outside with sweet smells and bright colors, only to c-block you with days of chill fog and clouds.

So if someone could find the environmental equivalent of estrogen and release some into the atmosphere, I'd be grateful. You could probably get a government grant for it, too, and be hailed as a hero by everyone who is ready to hang up their sweaters, take down the top on the convertible, and bronze those winter blues away!